In 390 days I will turn 50 (assuming nothing tragic happens between now and then, God forbid, throwing salt over shoulder now).
For the past 3-4 months my attitude has been pretty crappy about this upcoming event. The little voice in the back of my head says things like, "Yeah, *sigh* eat the fries. So what. You're turning 50 soon. *sigh*." Feeling "beyond this age dragons lie" like the uncharted territory on old maps. Sometimes I feel 17, most times I feel a confident 35. Wrapping my head around feeling 50 has not been successful, so far. Right now it is about as appealing as granny underwear, wrinkled hands, and 5:00 suppers.
On a long drive back and forth to Atlanta by myself a few weeks ago, I was able to fully ponder this event and had what I think is a remarkable paradigm shift.
I am going to spend this year preparing to turn 50 because IT IS GOING TO ROCK. I am going to shape my life, my priorities, my work, and myself so that when 50 comes, fingers crossed, I'll be doing exactly what I was meant to do and, more importantly, want to do. I want to feel good, look good, make art, retire from economic development, hoard my time, get off of Facebook and get face-to-face with friends, and bare my soul. And, lucky reader, write about it along the way.
So, stay tuned. The countdown to 50 will start June 27th, 2011.